August 07, 2024
In the world of marketing, certain principles rise to the level of “gospel”—precepts that almost everyone in the field knows and repeats. One of these most enduring ideas comes from the well-known entrepreneur and marketing guru, Gary Vaynerchuk: “People need to know you, like you, and trust you before they buy from you.” It’s a simple, memorable formula, and for many, it’s become a guiding star, shaping everything from brand-building seminars to social media campaigns.
But is it actually true? Or, in our increasingly connected, content-saturated, and fast-moving world, is there a more powerful lever—one that can shortcut the lengthy process of winning attention, affection, and trust?
The New Currency for Connection: Relatability
Let’s pause and break down Vaynerchuk’s classic formula. The first step, people need to know you, is about awareness; you have to have some public presence or visibility. The second, they need to like you, is about affinity—being pleasant, entertaining, or offering value. The third, they must trust you, centers on credibility and reliability. When these three are achieved, customers are meant to be happy to hand over their hard-earned dollars for your product, service, or solution.
Yet, there’s a growing sense among savvy marketers, business owners, and buyers themselves that this process doesn’t always align with how decisions are actually made. If we look closely at the moments when people make buying decisions—especially online, where choices are made in seconds—something else often drives those pivotal clicks and conversions.
That “something else” can be summed up in one word: relatability.
In our digital age, consumers have more choices and more information at their fingertips than ever before. It’s easier for them to tune out generic marketing messages and tune into what really resonates with their personal experience or worldview.
Relatability is about finding and highlighting those things that make someone feel, “Hey, this is someone like me,” or “This person gets it—they understand my situation.” Where trust and likeability may be destinations, relatability offers a shortcut—a direct line to “Hey, I can see myself here, and I understand what this person or brand is offering.”
Think of the last time you clicked on a link, watched a video, or signed up for a webinar—not because the person was a celebrity or had a slick website, but because you instantly recognized something familiar, comfortable, or aspirational in that message or messenger. Maybe you heard a story that echoed your own struggles. Maybe you saw a face, a setting, or a statement that mirrored your aspirations.
That’s relatability in action. And it’s powerful.
At its core, relatability is about common ground. It’s the sense of shared experience, background, attitude, or struggle.
- Shared Experience: Both you and your customer have “been there.” You’ve faced the same challenge, made the same mistakes, or overcome similar hurdles.
- Shared Values: You both care about the same things, hold similar beliefs, or aspire to the same ideals.
- Shared Goals: You and your audience want the same results—whether that’s launching a business, getting fit, raising healthy kids, or making a difference in your community.
Relatability is not just about telling your story; it’s about making your story, message, or brand echo the stories your audience is living right now.
When people recognize themselves in your message, it builds credibility almost instantly. Why? Humans are biologically wired to favor things (and people) that are familiar to them. This is known as the “mere exposure effect”—the more we see something familiar or similar to ourselves, the more likely we are to trust it, like it, and eventually engage with it.
Instead of hoping that, over time, your audience will get to know you, start to like you, and eventually trust you enough to buy, you’re showing from the very first touchpoint that you “get” them. You’re signaling: “I’m on your side; I understand your world.”
This approach not only accelerates trust but also lowers resistance to your message. People want to do business with companies and individuals who reflect their values, style, or struggles. When someone can say, “This person is speaking my language; they get what I’m going through,” the trust barrier melts away.
If relatability is the new accelerator for trust and conversions, how can you, as a business owner, marketer, coach, or creator, use it to your advantage? Here are some specific, actionable steps:
Yes, tell your origin story, but frame it in terms of the challenges, fears, or dreams your audience has. Speak directly to those struggles—show that you’ve been there and that you understand what they’re going through.
Instead of: “I started my web design agency with just a laptop in my bedroom…”
Try: “Maybe you’re like I was, starting out with just a laptop and a dream to build something bigger…”
Look for the exact phrases, jargon, or descriptions your ideal clients use when talking about their issues. You want them to feel seen and heard.
Instead of: “Optimize your digital presence through professional solutions...”
Try: “Tired of spending hours fighting with your website? I used to feel that way too!”
People relate to real people, not glossy perfection. Share honest mistakes, learning moments, and what you wish you knew earlier.
You might post: “My first client website crashed on launch day. I panicked, but that’s how I learned the #1 secret every web designer needs…”
Don’t be afraid to get granular. Calling out a tiny, relatable frustration (“Ever want to throw your laptop out the window after a plugin breaks?”) is more compelling than a vague promise of “better results.”
Let your existing clients tell their stories in their own words. Authentic testimonials, case studies, or user-generated content are proof that you understand and can solve actual problems.
From your clothing and office background on video calls to your Instagram color scheme, consider how your visual branding can reinforce the feeling of relatability. Are you polished and buttoned-up, or more approachable and scrappy? Match your vibe to your ideal client’s preferences.
Encourage interaction, participation, and sharing among your followers. The more your audience engages with each other around common experiences, the more relatable your brand feels.
Let’s walk through an example:
Suppose you’re a web design consultant in Santa Barbara—someone who’s navigated decades of change in technology, the rise of social media, and now, the sudden emergence of AI. If you market yourself as “the expert” with words like “30 years of experience” and “lifetime web support for Mac and PC users,” you are establishing credibility—but you’re not necessarily relatable.
Now, imagine sharing your struggle to grasp TikTok, admitting you initially misunderstood the power of automation, or describing your own “a-ha!” moment with an AI like ChatGPT. Maybe you post about the sleepless nights you spent untangling a website plugin conflict, or the way you felt overwhelmed training your first group of clients in a brand-new tool.
When your potential customers hear these stories, many will see themselves: They, too, are facing learning curves, technological growing pains, and the pressure to “keep up.” Suddenly, you’re not just an authority figure; you’re a fellow traveler on the same road.
The result? They trust you faster. They reach out because they believe you won’t judge their (supposed) “dumb questions.” They choose you over a polished competitor because you’re living proof that success is possible—even with struggle, embarrassment, and setbacks along the way.
Relatability is more than a marketing hack. It’s the cornerstone of sustainable business relationships. When people know you “get them,” they stick around longer. They don’t just buy once; they become loyal fans, advocates, and referral sources—because the trust they built wasn’t from a manufactured image, but from real, lived experience.
When marketing focuses only on “likability,” you risk attracting lukewarm followers who “like” your posts but never buy. If you rely only on building trust with credentials, you risk seeming cold or distant. But when people feel seen, heard, and mirrored in your story, you unlock a deeper form of loyalty.
Let’s get even more tactical. Here are some hands-on exercises you can try right now:
1. Create an Empathy Map: List your ideal customer’s fears, frustrations, hopes, and dreams. Write out what they say, think, do, and feel each day—especially in relation to the problem you solve.
2. Revisit Your About Page: Rewrite your personal or company bio to spotlight points where your journey overlaps with your audience’s. Focus less on credentials, more on shared experiences.
3. Audit Your Social Content: Look at your last 10 posts. How many include a story, image, or phrase that’s recognizably “just like” your audience’s daily life? Keep what’s working; add more where you see gaps.
4. Start a “Me Too” Story Bank: Every time a client or follower says, “Wow, I thought I was the only one,” make note. These stories are gold mines for future posts, emails, and marketing campaigns.
5. Test Relatable Content: Craft two versions of your next offer—one written in “expert speak,” the other built around personal stories or common frustrations. Watch the metrics: Which gets more engagement or conversions?
In a noisy marketplace, battling for attention is a losing game. If everyone is preaching “know, like, and trust,” the message itself becomes white noise. But relatability cuts through; it lets your unique energy, story, and approach connect directly with those who need you most.
By focusing on relatability, you build more than just a buyer list. You build a lasting, connected community. You serve clients who truly appreciate your process and personality, not just your portfolio. And you future-proof your business by creating authentic bonds—bonds that last beyond algorithm changes or platform shifts.
Ask yourself: How are you showing up online? Are you relevant, relatable, and visible in the places your audience lives and breathes? Are you sharing the parts of your story they’re hungry to hear? Are you highlighting the common ground—the shared struggles and wins that tie you together?
It’s time to move beyond merely being known, liked, or trusted for your expertise. Be known, liked, and trusted for being relatable—for being real, vulnerable, and just like the people you’re hoping to serve.
So, as you plan your next web update, blog post, social video, or sales pitch, ask:
- What part of my journey will make someone say, “Yes, finally—someone who gets it”?
- What story or image will flip the switch from “expert on a pedestal” to “fellow traveler on the road to success”?
Relatability isn’t always comfortable. It asks you to drop your guard, get honest, and connect on a human level. But it’s the most powerful way to build trust—and more importantly, build a business and a brand that lasts.
That’s your marketing minute for today. Thank you for joining me. Remember: be relatable, be real, and people will follow. Until next time—keep connecting.
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